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Psalm 78
. . . we will tell the next generation the praiseworthy deeds of the LORD, his power, and the wonders he has done. .
so the next generation would know them . . . and they in turn would tell their children.
Then they would put their trust in God and would not forget his deeds but would keep his commands.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Our Second Twins

Five years ago in February, I discovered I was pregnant. Our twin girls were three-and-a-half at the time and our son was one-and-a-half. We were very excited about having another baby, but we were even more amazed to see, on a sonogram when I was six weeks along, that it was twins! Again. As I looked over at the screen, I saw that both little embryos had beating hearts, in fact at that stage they seemed to be almost all heart.

I was very sick, but knew it was a good sign that the babies were growing. But just a few weeks later all my symptoms vanished. I felt too good and I noticed that my tummy wasn't growing. I tried to stay hopeful, but my twelve-week-check-up confirmed my fears: the babies had died.

We mourned and were grieved. Our experience is not unique. You've probably had miscarriages and felt the same grief.

We have a couple of little glass angel figures in our china cabinet that were given as a gift after the miscarriage, to remind us of our two little babies now in heaven. The grief of a miscarriage is real. It is a loss of life. It isn't as wrenching or intense as the loss of a child that you've been able to hold and know and love, but it is a loss.

With all the talk about our government's lifting of the stem-cell research ban, I remember again our precious children that only lived to be embryos. Soon after we lost them, I knew that the little lives I carried in my womb were now worshiping their Creator at His throne. Their value is not in the fact that we loved them and mourned them. Their value lies in the fact that God created them and they are His. Many embryos have no one to love them and no one to mourn their loss, but their value before God stands.

2 comments:

MagistraCarminum said...

Dear Amy-
As one who also has two babies in heaven, I appreciated this sweet reminder. Those tiny bodies carried full-sized souls.
Sending hugs-
Chris

Mrs. Edwards said...

Full-sized souls. What a wonderful description!
Thanks, Chris.
~Amy

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