The Sovereignty of God by Arthur W. Pink (1930). This slim book tackles the big issues related to God's sovereignty in election and in (gulp!) reprobation. (Reprobation is the flip side of the election coin, that is, that God has ordained some to be lost, as he did Judas.) Pink doesn't shy away from any of the hard verses, handles the issue of evangelism (the Gospel must be proclaimed), and even addresses the two most Arminian verses: John 3:16 and 1 John 2:2 (both of which were mentioned in our conversation at camp).
Evangelism and the Sovereignty of God by J.I. Packer (1961). Another slim book packed with good stuff. Packer explains why it is an error to conclude that God's sovereignty in salvation makes evangelism meaningless. My understanding is that Billy Graham had this book and made all sort of notes in the margins. (According to Josh Harris.)
Spurgeon's Sermons on Jesus and the Holy Spirit by Charles H. Spurgeon (1865). The sermon "The Holy Spirit compared to the Wind" on John 3:8 ("The wind blows wherever it pleases. You hear its sound, but you cannot tell where it comes from or where it is going. So it is with everyone born of the Spirit.") is not available to read online, but is included in this collection. It is sermon # 630 if you have access to another Spurgeon collection.
John Piper also preached on John 3:8, "The Free Will of the Wind," and my link will take you to a transcript and to the audio.
John Piper has also preached on John 3:16 "God So Loved the World, Part 1" and "God So Loved the World, Part 2" . You can read the sermons or listen. It is the second sermon, Part 2, that includes the classic quote from D. L. Moody (John Piper speaking in the quote below):
My father, who was a great evangelist who led more people to Christ than I ever will, used to quote D. L. Moody like this: Written on the outside of the gate of heaven are the words, “Whosoever will may come.” And on the other side of that gate, which you can read from the inside, is written: “Chosen before the foundation of the world.”
Wayne Grudem's Systematic Theology podcast. If you'd rather listen than read, this podcast of Grudem teaching a Sunday School class systematic theology is excellent. There are dozens of lectures here, but the three most related to this issue are "Doctrine of Election and Reprobation Part 1 & 2" and "The Gospel Call and Effectual Call" and "Doctrine of Regeneration." Grudem would probably be described as "reformed" but he does a good job of presenting all the views, I think.
I think it is also helpful to keep in mind that the "Calvinists" or "Reformed" people that you meet are not all the same. Some are paedobaptists (infant baptizers who follow a covenant theology that influences their views of the spiritual formation of children--this would be R.C.Sproul, for instance, but not John Piper) and some are postmillenialists (as was John Calvin; today Douglas Wilson is a vocal proponent, but again, not Piper who is pre-mill).
If you are interested in a more philosophic treatment of the free will-predestination tension, Jonathan Edwards is probably the best resource. Edwards's essay "The Freedom of the Will" (1754) is a difficult read, but makes the argument through philosophy as well as Scripture that God is sovereign over our will. Another fantastic and somewhat easier read from Edwards is "The End For Which God Created the World" which is included in its entirety in John Piper's book "God's Passion for His Glory", a book that you can download for free online. This book is not about TULIP, per se, but shows that God's creation exists for His glory. (TULIP would be the short-hand for the "five points" of Calvinism, explained by John Piper in this article.)
For my blog readers, I've mentioned some of these resources before and you may remember these posts quoting Spurgeon, these posts mentioning Jonathan Edwards's writing, and this post recommending Grudem's podcasts.